Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Chapter 8



Good Morning,

Yesterday I managed to sleep for 6-8 hours, be up for 2-3, and back for another 6-8.  I woke up not even knowing what day (or night) it was.  I completely missed Father’s Day!!!  Jerry and I don’t have any children, but I usually attempt to do something to remind him that I know that I at least remembered he is the Father of 3, daughters Vicki and Amanda, and son Calvin.  I just hate the way they treat Jerry and hope that someday they will really know the truth of why he wasn’t more in their lives. 

In 1991, I was living and working at the University of Missouri, at Columbia.  I had one of the best jobs I ever had, and ohh did I love it.  I received a phone call really super early one morning, and nothing good ever comes from those.  My dad had some kind of heart episode and my step-mother thought it would be better to let me know the next morning.  It truly was a miracle since the drug they found to control this had just been approved by the F.D.A.   Since my first marriage ended in Columbia (I stayed over a year, couldn’t let him think he was running me out of town) I started making plans to continue my education  back in Springfield.  Now with dad’s illness, that helped cement my plans.  Daddy and I were never as close as we could of, should have been, but I still needed his approval and so much more.  In 1995, they found cancer in his lungs and they stopped counting tumors on his brain.  Daddy had already told my step-mother and the one doctor that he didn’t want any treatment, and I was in the room and heard it all. 

I can’t begin to explain the look on his face when he realized I had just heard what he said.  Days later, I would have to stand up for what he said.  I guess it was a good thing no one else said anything. He was released to go home, but that didn’t last long.  They put him in the nursing home.  He was so funny, he had to entertain when people came to see him.  I started really paying attention, and if it were us kids (or other family) he would stay resting, but if it was someone he didn’t recognize, he would really entertain.  Jerry and I had only been married a little over a year, and spent that time out on the truck.  So every time Daddy would see me, the first thing out of his mouth was, “Where ya been?”  So when I’d go to the nursing home late at night, I knew he’d know me when he’d say that.  We lost him 2 weeks later, on September 19, 1995 at the age of 58. 

Boy, I sure am long-winded (no comment from the peanut gallery, tee hee)  I just hope these young people don’t have any regrets.  I did everything that was within my power to, from taking care of him to spending overnights at the nursing home.   He was 58, and I’m 52, which is not a lot of difference.  I do have regrets about other areas of my life, like losing my temper with Mama, or my sister, or my precious Jerry.  I wish Jerry and I could afford to take a trip.  We’ve never had a real vacation.  Our honeymoon was to Boston, Massachusetts on the big truck.  Ha Ha, that was a trip plumb full of newlywed bliss!  With our health being so pitiful, we’d probably drop dead on a real vacation. Tee hee.

CYA,
Arlynda

12 comments:

  1. I was always close with my dad and come father's day or Valentine's day (his birthday) I miss him even more.

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    1. Thanks for stopping by, Ann! Oh how I wish I had what you did. My dad drank, and even though he never really got ugly with my sister and me, we were both afraid of him.

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  2. Hopefully one day soon Vicki, Amanda, and Calvin, will treat their Father better. Hope you feel better soon.

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    1. Thank you so very much for that, Alasandra. I realize that I probably sound like a sap, but I know enough about the way Jerry was before we met to know that what his kids have been told about him by their respective mothers (The mother of his son is not the same as the mother of his daughters) is just not true. Pushing the issue would probably do great harm to the relationships they have with their mothers, though. So, we remain silent and pray that enough of the truth will come out someday to allow them to feel much differently about him.

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  3. This was my first father's day without my dad. As a cat, I know that most other cats don't have the privilege of growin' up with their dads but I did. I was lucky. Dads are special and that should never be forgotten 'cause one day you wake up and they're just not there anymore and all those opportunities for lovin' them, are lost forever.

    Purrs,
    Nissy

    PS. Long-winded? Hah! Peep #1 says I have turned long-windedness (new word I just made up) into an art form. I disagree. It's actually more of a hobby than art. purrs

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    1. Thank you for coming by, Nerissa! I would like to think that ALL of our family members can spend all of eternity together in our Heavenly Father's Kingdom of Heaven after their time as a part of this world comes to an end. So, if that is indeed true, you can look forward to spending lots more time with your daddy.

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  4. Vacations aren't all they're written up to be, Arlynda. It's more a frame of mind than a place. Frame your mind correctly and you can always be in holiday-mode.

    I've never been one for taking holidays/vacations. Although, perhaps one could say now I'm retired I'm on one long vacation!

    Cherish what you've got; don't dwell on the shortsightedness of others; they will do what they will do. and they'll be the ones who will have their own regrets later; and the fault will be theirs, and theirs alone. There is nothing you can say or do...your words would be wasted.

    Take care.

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    1. Wise words on all counts, Lee. Thank you for coming by!

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  5. So sorry to hear about your dad. It sounds like it was a rough time. ::hugs::

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    1. Thanks for stopping by, my new Furry Friend! I am very hopeful of being able to spend lots of time under much better circumstances with my dad after my time as a part of this world comes to an end.

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  6. Long winded, you?
    Very sad about your dad, we all have regrets about our parents in many ways, that is life however.

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    1. Thank you for being so understanding, Mr. Adullamite.

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