Yesterday I managed to sleep for 6-8 hours, be up for 2-3, and back for another 6-8. I woke up not even knowing what day (or night) it was. I completely missed Father’s Day!!! Jerry and I don’t have any children, but I usually attempt to do something to remind him that I know that I at least remembered he is the Father of 3, daughters Vicki and Amanda, and son Calvin. I just hate the way they treat Jerry and hope that someday they will really know the truth of why he wasn’t more in their lives.
In 1991, I was living and working at the University of Missouri, at Columbia. I had one of the best jobs I ever had, and ohh did I love it. I received a phone call really super early one morning, and nothing good ever comes from those. My dad had some kind of heart episode and my step-mother thought it would be better to let me know the next morning. It truly was a miracle since the drug they found to control this had just been approved by the F.D.A. Since my first marriage ended in Columbia (I stayed over a year, couldn’t let him think he was running me out of town) I started making plans to continue my education back in Springfield. Now with dad’s illness, that helped cement my plans. Daddy and I were never as close as we could of, should have been, but I still needed his approval and so much more. In 1995, they found cancer in his lungs and they stopped counting tumors on his brain. Daddy had already told my step-mother and the one doctor that he didn’t want any treatment, and I was in the room and heard it all.
I can’t begin to explain the look on his face when he realized I had just heard what he said. Days later, I would have to stand up for what he said. I guess it was a good thing no one else said anything. He was released to go home, but that didn’t last long. They put him in the nursing home. He was so funny, he had to entertain when people came to see him. I started really paying attention, and if it were us kids (or other family) he would stay resting, but if it was someone he didn’t recognize, he would really entertain. Jerry and I had only been married a little over a year, and spent that time out on the truck. So every time Daddy would see me, the first thing out of his mouth was, “Where ya been?” So when I’d go to the nursing home late at night, I knew he’d know me when he’d say that. We lost him 2 weeks later, on September 19, 1995 at the age of 58.
Boy, I sure am long-winded (no comment from the peanut gallery, tee hee) I just hope these young people don’t have any regrets. I did everything that was within my power to, from taking care of him to spending overnights at the nursing home. He was 58, and I’m 52, which is not a lot of difference. I do have regrets about other areas of my life, like losing my temper with Mama, or my sister, or my precious Jerry. I wish Jerry and I could afford to take a trip. We’ve never had a real vacation. Our honeymoon was to Boston, Massachusetts on the big truck. Ha Ha, that was a trip plumb full of newlywed bliss! With our health being so pitiful, we’d probably drop dead on a real vacation. Tee hee.